A Holiday That Feels Like Joy Again



❄️✨ A Holiday That Feels Like Joy Again

Values, Saying No, and Creating Joy That Lasts


🌿 A Personal Truth (Because I Really Get This)

I have to start here — because no one gets swept up in holiday magic more than I do.
I am a super fan of all the holiday shenanigans.
The decorating, the baking, the matching pajamas, the cozy moments, the gifts… all of it.
I love making things special for my kids.

But loving it so much also means I can get carried away.

I still remember one Christmas when my kids were little, late at night, scrolling online, desperately trying to find a doll crib so everything would be “even.”
I convinced myself they needed it.
That without it, the whole holiday would fall apart.
I can still picture exactly where I was sitting, my heart racing, trying to order something last-minute that didn’t matter nearly as much as I thought it did.

And of course… it had to be put together.
When it arrived on Christmas Eve.
Because I was trying to do it all.

That moment has stayed with me.
Not because of the crib , my kids probably don't even remember it....
but because I remember how stressed I was.
How much pressure I put on myself to make everything perfect.
How quickly joy turned into urgency.

And that’s the truth I’ve learned over and over again:

It’s so easy to lose ourselves in the season.
It’s so easy to believe more = better.
It’s so easy to forget what actually matters.

I don’t do it perfectly.
Not even close.
It’s something I practice and revisit every single year.

And the truth is, I did know better back then.
As a mom and as an educator, I’ve always understood the long-term values and skills that matter most.

But when you’re in the moment....tired, emotional, wanting so badly to make things magical, it’s easy to forget.
We all do it.
It’s part of being human.
Part of loving our kids.
Part of wanting the season to feel special.

This holiday, let’s remind ourselves and challenge ourselves to return to what we already know.

Let’s make choices based on our values, not the pressure of Instagram.
Let’s prioritize what feels true for our family, not what the neighbors are doing.
Let’s stay grounded in what teaches our children meaning, not what’s trending as the “best toy.”
Let’s move away from scarcity, the feeling that we “must” do more...
and come back to truth, connection, and what aligns with who we are.

Because that’s where joy actually lives.
And that’s what our kids will remember

Happiness doesn’t come from doing it all.
Happiness comes from choosing what matters.

And the most meaningful memories aren’t created by chasing everything…
They’re created by slowing down and savoring what’s right in front of us.

🎄 What Do You Want Your Child to Experience?

Before you plan a single thing, pause and ask:

What do I want my child to feel during the holidays?

Not what you want them to have.
Not what you want them to do.
But what you want them to experience:

  • calm

  • joy

  • connection

  • belonging

  • creativity

  • family

  • rest

  • wonder

  • safety

When you lead with feelings and values, everything becomes clearer.

Kids don’t remember the perfectly wrapped gifts or packed schedules.
They remember tone.
They remember energy.
They remember the warmth of being with you.

🌿 Learning to Say No (The Skill Most Families Need)

One of the biggest patterns I see with the families I work with is this:

Kids want to do everything.
Parents try to do everything.
And everyone ends up overwhelmed.

Saying no, kindly, confidently, calmly... is one of the most important life skills you can teach.

Because when you say no, your child learns how to:

  • honor their limits

  • read their cues

  • choose what matters

  • tolerate disappointment

  • rest when needed

  • regulate emotions

  • avoid burnout

  • live in alignment with their values

For parents, saying no to others can sound like:

“Thanks for thinking of us, but it doesn’t fit for our family right now.”

How to tell your kids you said no, might sound like this:

“We can’t do everything, so we’re choosing what matters most.”

This teaches boundaries, prioritizing, and values-based decision-making , without guilt or shame.

These are the skills that carry them into friendships, relationships, and adulthood.

Kids don’t grow from doing everything...

they grow from learning how to choose what matters.

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✨ Joy Doesn’t Come From Having or Doing It All

It’s easy to fall into the cultural trap of “more = better.”
More toys.
More outings.
More traditions.
More magic.
More everything.

But joy doesn’t grow in “more.”

Joy grows in meaning.
Joy grows in presence.
Joy grows in doing what you love and letting go of the rest.

When you build your holiday around your values, you’re teaching your child that happiness doesn’t come from “more” , it comes from choosing what truly matters to your family.

This is how they learn that real joy comes from who they’re with, not what they have.

💛 If They’re Upset About Missing Something… That’s Okay

Missing an event isn’t harmful.
It’s an opportunity.

When kids feel disappointed, they’re learning:

  • resilience

  • flexibility

  • emotional expression

  • problem solving

  • delayed gratification

  • the skill of choosing one thing over another

You can hold them through it with empathy:

“We can’t do everything.
We choose what matters most.
If we say no to this, we’ll say yes to something else when it feels right.”

Either way, you’re learning together.

✨ Make the Moments Count

A magical holiday doesn’t come from doing it all.
It comes from the small things, repeated consistently, in the tone of your home.

  • the moment you slow down

  • the moment you sit on the floor and play

  • the moment you read the same book again

  • the moment you breathe instead of rush

  • the moment your child sees you enjoying the season, not just managing it

Kids don’t hold onto the logistics...they hold onto the feelings.

And someday they’ll remember:

Not that Mom was stressed…
But that she loved the holiday.

Your joy teaches them joy.
Your presence teaches them presence.
Your values teach them how to build a meaningful life.

🎁 Actionable Steps to Create the Holiday You Want

1. Pick 2–3 Core Values for Your Holiday

Calm, connection, creativity, joy, rest, tradition, giving....choose your anchors.

2. Say “No” Early and Kindly

Protect open space like it’s a plan, because it is.

3. Build in Daily “Nothing Time”

This teaches your child that rest is normal and necessary...this is a huge and necessary life skill in the fast paced world we live in!

4. Choose Simple Magic

Hot chocolate. A board game. Reading by the tree. A family walk. It all counts.

5. Regulate Yourself First

Your calm becomes your child’s calm.
Lower lights. Slow transitions. Deep breaths.

6. Let Your Kids Miss Things

This is how they learn resilience, disappointment tolerance, and authentic decision-making.

7. Ask One Simple Question Each Night:

“What was one small thing we loved today?”
This builds gratitude and memories , without pressure. (AND is one of those daily simple things)

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Thanks for reading. Wishing you and your family a calm, peaceful holiday season...with plenty of fun and moments that truly matter.

If you need support on your parenting journey, reach out for a free connection call 💗

https://www.connectionsparentcoaching.com/


                      For more tips on parenting follow me on instagram @connectionsparentcoaching

                                                           

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