Practical Tools for Parents During The Holidays!


Practical Tools for Parents During the Holidays (Meant to Help, Not Overwhelm)

The holidays bring excitement, connection, and joy...but they also bring pressure, overstimulation, and constant decision-making. Most parents feel pulled in three directions at once, trying to create magic while holding everything else together.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally stretched…
you are not alone.

And before we dive into tools, I want to say this:

These aren’t expectations.
They’re support.
Pick the ones that feel good to you! There is no right or wrong!!1

Even one small shift can make your season feel more grounded.

1. Keep Part of the Routine (Not All of It)

You don’t need a perfect schedule during the holidays... just a few predictable anchors.

Even one consistent piece of routine can help everyone feel more regulated:

  • the calming part of the bedtime routine

  • a predictable mealtime

  • quiet time

  • morning 

Kids don’t need every routine.

They just need something that feels familiar and steady.

2. Protect Sleep (Your Kids’ and Your Own)

Late nights happen. Holiday fun happens.

This is a great skill having fun and learning to reset and get back into the rhythm of a routine!

It doesn't have to be perfect, and it won't during the holidays...

One decent night can reset an entire week for a child.
And for a parent too.

3. Donate Before Bringing In New Things

December gets full...emotionally and physically.

Letting go of a few toys or clothing items before new gifts arrive:

  • reduces clutter

  • lowers stress

  • increases gratitude

  • helps kids make room (literally + emotionally)

Less stuff equals less overwhelm,  for everyone.

4. Less Is Truly More

Kids do not need every activity, tradition, craft, or event.

They need:

  • you

  • connection

  • co-regulation

  • downtime

  • simple joy

5. Take Care of Yourself in Small, Realistic Ways

You cannot pour from an empty nervous system.

Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate:

  • a quiet cup of coffee

  • 5 minutes alone in your room

  • a warm shower

  • drinking water

  • stepping outside

  • going to bed 20 minutes earlier

  • saying no without guilt

Your kids would choose a calm, grounded parent over “more holiday magic” every single time.

You’re modeling self-respect and rest.
You are teaching them what you hope they choose for themselves someday.

6. Find the Middle Ground (Avoid the All-or-Nothing Spiral)

The holidays often push parents into extremes:

“I’m doing EVERYTHING!”
or
“I’m doing NOTHING.”

But the sweet spot, the place where joy and connection grow, is the middle. (sometimes it looks and feels messy but this is where magic happens!)

Try this mantra:
“Some things, not everything.”
“Good enough is enough.”

The middle is where nervous systems stay safe.

7. Communicate Short, Positive Expectations Ahead of Time

Kids behave better when they know what to expect and how to be successful.

Keep it simple:

“Today we’re going to Grandma’s. There will be a lot of people. You can wave, high-five, or say hello when you’re ready. We’ll stay about two hours. If you need a break, come find me. You’ve got this.”

A few reminders:

  • keep it light

  • focus on what will happen

  • give choices

  • stay warm and positive

  • let them know how they can get support

How you share information matters.
Connection creates cooperation.

8. Understand Why Kids Are Overwhelmed

Kids are navigating:

  • new faces

  • loud environments

  • disrupted routines

  • more sugar

  • excitement + anxiety

  • social expectations

  • sensory overload

Their behavior is communication, not defiance.

Give them some slack.(AND yourself, you are doing a great job)
Their nervous system is working just as hard as yours.... sometimes harder.

9. Don’t Force Greetings or Physical Contact

Holiday gatherings often come with comments like:

“Go hug them!”
“Say hello!”
“Give Uncle ___ a kiss!”

For many kids, especially sensitive or neurodivergent kids, this feels overwhelming or unsafe.

Offer options AND when YOU are ready: (manners are learned through modeling and practice not through force or overriding a child's sense of safety, especially at the holidays!

  • wave

  • smile

  • high-five

  • say hi later

  • stay close to you

Not greeting someone is not disrespect.
It is regulation.

10. Support, Don’t Correct, in the Moment

If your child gets overwhelmed during a gathering, that is NOT the moment to:

  • teach

  • lecture

  • shame

  • correct tone

  • demand maturity

Their thinking brain is offline.

Instead:

  • get close

  • co-regulate

  • reduce stimulation

  • offer a break

  • speak softly

  • say less, soothe more

Teach later, when everyone is calm.

11. Think of yourself as the emotional gatekeeper.

Kids aren’t meant to carry adult stress, family dynamics, or holiday overwhelm.

You can honor your feelings and protect their nervous system by choosing where you process. 

We ALL feel this way, allow your own feelings with a friend or spouse!

 ✨12. And Finally… Have Fun

Fun is regulation.
Fun is grounding.
Fun brings everyone back to the present moment.

It doesn’t have to be big or Instagram-worthy:

  • dance in the kitchen

  • drive to look at lights

  • make hot cocoa

  • watch a silly movie

  • share a story

  • wear comfy pajamas

  • build a blanket pile

Simple joy counts.
Simple joy is enough.
Simple joy is what kids remember.

These are just reminders...

You’re not meant to hold this season perfectly.
Your kids don’t need perfect...they need you.

When we aren't perfect it ACTUALLY is an opportunity to repair, build connection and model for our children with compassion HOW to be imperfect, because we ALL are! (THIS may be the greatest gift you can give to your children)

If you want support building a simple holiday plan or routines that work for your family, I’m here. If you need support on your parenting journey, reach out for a free connection call ðŸ’—

I hope you have a peaceful and wonderful HOLIDAY SEASON!

With hope and joy,

Kirsten



https://www.connectionsparentcoaching.com/


                      For more tips on parenting follow me on instagram @connectionsparentcoaching

                                                           

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