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Why You Feel So Overwhelmed During the Holidays
Piggy-backing off my last post about creating joy…I probably should have started with this one, because before we can even think about joy, we have to talk about something we ALL feel this time of year:
Overwhelm.
Real human overload.
And if you're feeling it?
You’re not alone.... truly.(Picture me raising my hand AND frantically waving it around!)
The Competing Feelings No One Talks About
The holidays bring up competing emotions for every single one of us... and competing emotions are confusing for the brain and exhausting for the body.You can feel excited AND tired.
Grateful AND overstimulated.
Joyful AND irritable.
Hopeful AND overwhelmed.
Two things can be true ....and usually are.
The reality is that holding space for all these competing emotions gets draining!
Then add social media which fuels these emotions!
And your brain knows those are highlights…
…but your body reacts anyway.
Your nervous system sees:
✨ matching family PJs
✨ magazine-worthy decorations
✨ beautiful family photos
✨ holiday cards
✨ parties
✨ gift lists
✨ school shows
✨ cookie swaps
✨ “traditions” that suddenly feel like obligations
All of it adds up, fast!
No wonder you feel like you’re not doing enough, or like you’re somehow “behind.”
It’s overstimulating. It’s constant. It’s A LOT.
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And yes, kids feel this too.
The excitement AND the exhaustion.
The anticipation AND the fear.
The joy AND the dysregulation.
Competing emotions aren’t just an adult thing, little nervous systems feel them even more intensely.
So if you’re wondering why the whole house feels a little unsteady…
why simple decisions feel harder…
why you feel behind even when you’re doing your best…
This is why.
The emotional load.
The sensory load.
The comparison.
The pressure.
The expectations...yours and everyone else’s.
The constant decisions of what to do, what to buy, where to go, what to prepare.
Even the Fun Stuff Is Overwhelming
Here’s the truth we forget:Even the FUN things create new expectations and break routine.
When routines change, kids and adults go into nervous-system overdrive.
Suddenly the house looks different.
There are bright lights, strong smells, more noise, more clutter.
Bedtimes shift.
There’s more sugar.
More running around.
More “hurry up.”
More stimulation and less recovery.
Kids feel it.
You feel it too.
It makes simple things harder, reactions bigger, patience shorter, and emotions louder.
Suddenly everyone is "jumping in the hole"!
Nothing is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with your kids.
Your bodies are reacting exactly the way nervous systems react when routines + expectations + stimulation all increase at the same time.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with your kids.
Your bodies are reacting exactly the way nervous systems react when routines + expectations + stimulation all increase at the same time.
So What Can You Actually Do?
Here are a few things that might help you feel less overwhelmed this holiday season, realistic, human-centered things that work because they don’t rely on perfection.✨ Practice the Parent Pause
Take a few seconds to check in with yourself before responding.
Regulation first. Then respond. (Try not to jump in the hole)
(Even a 3-second pause is powerful.)
✨ Practice Self-Compassion
You are not the only parent feeling this way...you’re just the only one living inside your body.
Remind yourself: “I’m human. This is a lot. I’m doing my best.”
Take care of yourself!
✨ Sit Down and Create a Game Plan
Talk with your kids ahead of time about what’s coming.
A simple, flexible plan helps everyone feel safer and more prepared.
Kids need leadership, not perfection.
✨ Communicate Early and Clearly
Let kids know what to expect, when you’ll be leaving, who will be there, how long activities will last.
Predictability helps regulate their nervous system...and yours.
✨ Say No. Truly.
Less is more.
Your family doesn’t need every event, every tradition, every outing.
Protect your time and energy.
✨ Honor Emotions (Even When You’re Saying No to Behavior)
Big feelings will happen... for kids AND you.
In the moment, you don’t need to teach or fix or shut it down.
You just need to connect:
“I see you’re upset. I’m here.”
Teaching comes later when everyone is calm.
✨ And of Course… Have Fun
Fun is what it's all about.
✨ Sit Down and Create a Game Plan
Talk with your kids ahead of time about what’s coming.
A simple, flexible plan helps everyone feel safer and more prepared.
Kids need leadership, not perfection.
✨ Communicate Early and Clearly
Let kids know what to expect, when you’ll be leaving, who will be there, how long activities will last.
Predictability helps regulate their nervous system...and yours.
✨ Say No. Truly.
Less is more.
Your family doesn’t need every event, every tradition, every outing.
Protect your time and energy.
✨ Honor Emotions (Even When You’re Saying No to Behavior)
Big feelings will happen... for kids AND you.
In the moment, you don’t need to teach or fix or shut it down.
You just need to connect:
“I see you’re upset. I’m here.”
Teaching comes later when everyone is calm.
✨ And of Course… Have Fun
Fun is what it's all about.
Enjoy the little moments and find the wins!
Fun brings you back to the present.
It doesn’t have to be “magical.”
Simple fun is enough.
Fun brings you back to the present.
It doesn’t have to be “magical.”
Simple fun is enough.
You’re Not Doing It Wrong ... This Season Is a Lot
You’re human.
Your kids are human.
And this time of year puts everyone’s nervous system under extra pressure.
You don’t need a perfect holiday.
You need a connected one, and connection grows in the small, imperfect, real moments… not the curated ones.
If you want a holiday plan or support navigating the overwhelm, I’m here. 💛
If you need support on your parenting journey, reach out for a free connection call 💗
https://www.connectionsparentcoaching.com/
For more tips on parenting follow me on instagram @connectionsparentcoaching
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