August Reset ... when we start to feel ready for routine again!

August Reset ... when we start to feel ready for routine again!

There’s a point every August when summer starts to feel… like a lot.
As a parent of young kids, “they” tell you to enjoy the moments because they are fleeting and you’ll never get this time back. And while that is true and I’m glad we’re talking about it....there’s also another side that no one really likes to talk about, and certainly no one posts about as much. It’s the hard moments.

It’s trying to squeeze in the last few fun things while you’re still working, still managing appointments, still buying school supplies, figuring out sports schedules, camps ending, routines changing, and everything else that keeps moving. Meanwhile, you may have been on overdrive all summer trying to keep the house picked up, staying up later, saying yes more often, refereeing the same sibling fight over and over again, and trying to make the most of summer.

And now?

You could ignore the chaos. You could start putting fear into the kids if they “do it one more time.”
Or you could find your way through the messy middle.

Because the kids are out of any real resemblance of a routine, too. They may be staying up later, eating at different times, spending more time with siblings, friends and family, and moving from one activity to another.

And suddenly everyone seems a little more irritable.

Maybe your kids are arguing more and you have less patience. Maybe little things that normally wouldn’t bother you suddenly feel really big. There’s a reason for that.

Our brains like predictability

Even when change is exciting, it’s still change. For our kids and for us. Even though we may still be going to work every day, the routines around everything else are shifted. Maybe we’re going to bed later and waking up later. Dinners may look different. We go on vacation,our kids have camps and schedules are less predictable. Sometimes it’s hard to find a routine that works when the schedule is changing every week.
Our kids feel this too.

They may love doing all the fun things. They may be excited about the later bedtime, the camps, the sleepovers, the cousins, the trips, the pool, the ice cream.
AND it is still different.

Then, on top of all of that, they have something new starting.
School.

New teachers, new classrooms, new schedules, ew expectations, new activities and while also worrying about if they are with their best friend or not! That is a lot of change and uncertainly to navigate!
We aren’t necessarily unsafe, but our nervous system may be experiencing less predictability.
And when we’re tired, overwhelmed or dysregulated, we don’t always make our best decisions...and neither do our kids.

We may snap instead of pause, say yes when we really want to say no, overreact to something small, abandon a boundary because we’re exhausted, or respond in a way that doesn’t really align with the parent we want to be.
That’s human!
Another part of being human is recognizing our overall capacity.
Sometimes it’s just too much...there doesn’t need to be judgment in that. We need to know where our own threshold is. Sometimes we feel bad saying no, so we push ourselves past our capacity and then end up frustrated or angry with everyone around us.
When, in reality, if we had kindly said no, dealt with the discomfort of disappointing someone, and honored our own limit, we may have been able to show up in a way that felt more aligned with who we want to be.
And when we don’t? That’s human too!

So what can we do about it? Well we can recognize that we all feel that way sometimes, and that is OK! AND August is a wonderful time to reset!
Not overhaul your entire family, not create the perfect back-to-school routine.
Just reset.

1. Give yourself, and your kids some compassion

If everyone seems a little off right now, you probably don’t need to fix everything.
Start by recognizing what’s happening.
We are tired we’re transitioning, our routines have changed and another big change is coming.
Your child may need a little more patience right now... AND it wouldn't hurt to extend that same kindness to yourself.
Self-compassion doesn’t mean we don’t hold boundaries or expectations, it means we recognize that we’re human while we do it.

2. Find one thing that helps you pause and love up your nervous system

It doesnt need to be perfect to start... 

Maybe it’s taking one deep breath before responding, maybe it’s stepping outside for five minutes, maybe it’s a short walk (with a stroller).
One of my favorites is a five-minute morning meditation on Insight Timer.
Five minutes doesn’t sound like much, but sometimes that little bit of space at the beginning of my day changes how I enter the rest of it.
Find something small that helps you slow your body down enough to choose your response instead of simply reacting.

3. Get some of it out of your head

When we’re overwhelmed, we tend to carry a running list around in our heads:
School supplies, forms, appointments, sports schedules, work, groceries a running to-do list.

Write it down.
Not because you need another perfectly organized checklist, because your brain doesn’t need to hold all of it at once.
What actually needs to happen this week?
What can wait?
What doesn’t really need to happen at all?
Sometimes seeing it on paper makes everything feel a little more manageable.

4. Start bringing back a little predictability and communicate it with your kids

You don’t need to flip a switch and suddenly put everyone on a school schedule, start small.
And make sure you tell your kids what’s changing.
Not as they’re running out the door, not in the middle of a meltdown, not when everyone is already frustrated.
Get their attention and take a minute or two to get everyone on the same page.
Clear, consistent expectations are easier to follow when kids know what’s coming.
One small shift...maybe bedtime gets a little earlier maybe you bring back a more consistent dinner time., maybe backpacks and school supplies start getting organized.
Maybe you simply talk about what the next few weeks are going to look like.
Predictability helps our kids and us feel more settled.

5. Make room for connection, silliness and fun

August doesn’t have to become one giant preparation period for September...remember there is still summer left...find the middle!
And sometimes when everyone is feeling a little overwhelmed, we don’t need another strategy, we need to laugh.
Turn the music up in the kitchen, have ice cream for dinner, tell the terrible joke your kids have already heard 47 times, have a dance party. Let your kids see you be silly and it doesn’t have to be elaborate.
And it definitely doesn’t have to be Instagram-worthy.
Fun and silliness are connection too.
They can help break the tension when everyone has been taking things a little too seriously.
They remind our kids and us that even in the middle of transition and stress, there is still room for joy.
And then find a few quieter moments to connect too. Try and find ten minutes at the end of the day sitting together or take a walk. Talk with your kids and ask them about their day.
Maybe practice a little gratitude together:
What was one good thing about today?
What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
What was your favorite thing about this summer?
Connection doesn’t have to be complicated, sometimes it’s a conversation, sometimes it’s a hug.
And sometimes it’s laughing so hard together that everyone forgets what they were arguing about five minutes ago.

August can be both
We can be ready for routine AND want to hold onto summer.
Our kids can be excited for school AND nervous about the transition.
We can feel grateful for the summer we’ve had AND completely exhausted.
We can have a list of things that need to get done AND decide that tonight we’re going to leave the list on the counter and go get ice cream.
We can have moments when we don’t respond the way we’d like AND come back, repair and try again.
It’s about finding our way back through the messy middle.
That’s the work.

August doesn’t need to be about getting everything right before school starts. Maybe it’s simply our reminder to slow down, reconnect, add back a little structure, be a little silly, have some fun, and give ourselves and our kids a little grace as we prepare for what’s next.
Because the hope for you and your family isn’t a perfect transition.
It’s  building the skills to move through transitions together and hopefully have a little fun along the way!

Want a little help getting started?

As we move toward the school year, a little predictability can go a long way—for our kids AND for us.

I created a free PRESET Tool to help you think ahead, communicate expectations clearly, and set your child (and yourself!) up for success before the hard moments happen.

It’s simple, practical, and something you can use for mornings, outings, new routines, after-school activities...or any of those everyday moments that tend to get a little messy.

Grab the free PRESET Tool here → YES, Send me the PRESET Tool!

And remember, the goal isn’t to get it perfect. It’s to practice.

Kirsten Nichter, MSed
Certified Jai Parent Coach & Certified Positive Discipline Educator

https://www.connectionsparentcoaching.com/

                      For more tips on parenting follow me on instagram @connectionsparentcoaching