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Why Won't My Child Just Listen the First Time?!
Oh, I remember those days quite well!!!
I'd say, It's time to leave! And THAT was the exact moment my kids suddenly needed to use the bathroom, ask a billion questions, or go searching for the hat and gloves they couldn't find earlier!
Sound familiar?
Why does something as simple as leaving the house to do something we do EVERY DAY sometimes feel so incredibly difficult?!
And here's where things can get tricky.
As overwhelmed parents, our frustration can quickly shift our focus to everything our children aren't doing.
Why can't they just listen?
Why is everything so difficult?
What am I doing wrong?
Before we know it, we're reacting instead of responding...And believe me, I've had plenty of those moments myself!
Now that my three kids are young adults, we sometimes look back and talk about things I did as a parent. And trust me, they're not afraid to tell me when they think I got something wrong!
A Lot of times they are right, sometimes we remember things differently. But I've learned that being willing to listen, reflect, and even acknowledge when I could have handled something differently is an important part of our relationship.
And isn't that what we want our kids to learn, too?
In stressful moments and when we don't know what else to do as a parent we yell, threaten a consequence, or say something we wish we hadn't just to get everyone out the door.
And then comes the guilt...
Sometimes we justify our reaction because, after all, how many times should we have to ask?!
Other times, we turn that frustration inward.
I'm the worst mom ever. Why can't I get this right? Is it always going to be this hard?
But What If There's a Third Option?
What if parenting didn't have to be a choice between getting frustrated and reacting OR feeling guilty and blaming ourselves afterward?
What if there were another way?
A small shift in how we understand our children, their behavior, and even our own responses.
Not because we're failing as parents....quite the opposite.
Because we want to do the best we can for our kids, and sometimes we're just not sure what that looks like.
And sometimes trying something different feels uncomfortable, we may even worry that changing our approach means admitting we've been doing something wrong.
But learning something new doesn't mean everything we've done before was wrong...it means we're willing to grow!!! (and isn't that exactly what we want for our kids too)!
Here's Something I Want Parents to Know
You're doing important work.....and so are your kids.
Parenting is hard! And most of us don't come into it with a background in child development or years of experience understanding how children's brains grow, how behavior develops, or the skills children need to be successful.
We parent using what we know, what we've experienced, and what we've been taught.
And sometimes those approaches don't quite align with the parent we want to be, we might find ourselves repeating patterns that don't feel good or aren't getting us the results we're hoping for.
And because we're not sure what else to do, we keep doing them.
But there is another way.
It begins with getting curious...
-What might be happening underneath our child's behavior?
-What are they trying to communicate?
-What skills might they still be developing?
And here's something else I want to be very clear about:
Understanding behavior does NOT mean children get to behave however they want!
Trust me, I'm BIG on accountability!
I'm also big on the word AND.
We can be understanding AND have expectations.
We can connect AND hold boundaries.
We can support our children AND help them take responsibility for their actions.
These things are not opposites. They work together.
Sometimes, We Just Need a Place to Start
Trying a different approach takes a little curiosity, a willingness to step outside our comfort zone, and sometimes a leap of faith.
And we don't have to figure it all out at once. And the best part? We don't have to get it right every time to make a difference.
Small, intentional changes can make a meaningful difference in how we experience parenting and how our children develop the skills they need for life.
Over the past several months, I've had conversations with parents and other professionals about what families are looking for when it comes to parenting support.
And one thing I've heard consistently is that parents, caregivers, and educators want practical tools, guidance, and support that feel structured and manageable. They want to understand behavior differently, feel more confident in their responses, and find ways to make everyday challenges a little easier.
They want to try something different. Sometimes, they just need a place to start.
It's a structured, one-on-one virtual course designed to help parents better understand behavior, build cooperation, set kind AND firm boundaries, and develop practical tools they can begin using at home.
Because sometimes the first step isn't getting our children to listen the first time.
It's learning to look at what's happening a little differently.
♡ Learn more about Connected & Capable Parenting at connectionsparentcoaching.com.
Want to Make Getting Out the Door a Little Easier?
Sometimes a little preparation can make a big difference!
If mornings, transitions, or getting out the door feel challenging, I've created a free resource to help.
🌿 PRESET Before You Leave is a simple guide to help you prepare your child, set clear expectations, and build cooperation before heading out.
♡ Grab Your Free PRESET Guide Here!
Connection AND boundaries. Building skills for life.
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